The Feeling I Dislike the Most

For several years I have suffered from migraines. They have progressively worsened over the past few years. They are excruciating and debilitating. However, this is not the feeling I dislike most. Most recently I have felt the many discomforts that accompany pregnancy including but not limited to sciatica, heartburn, leg and foot cramps, and swollen feet. Yet these are not the feelings I dislike most. I have experienced natural childbirth three times. But again, this is not the feeling I dislike most. The feeling I dislike most is not necessarily physical though the effect causes a terrible physical anxiety. The feeling I dislike most is being lost. With almost every discomfort or pain, you know there is an end somewhere in sight. However, with being lost, you never know when you’re going to be found or find your way out. There is a helplessness in not being in control.

I can recall several times I have been lost. The life-changing one was a few years ago after we moved to Ohio. I was trying to take the kids to school on their first day of school. My normal route was closed, but I was sure I knew an alternative route. (Keep in mind the school is nine twisty miles from our house.) Twenty minutes later when still no streets were looking familiar and the kids were ten minutes late for school we crossed a county line into a city I knew was clearly not where I wanted to be. I phoned Dano in our “emergency calling” code. He asked what my whereabouts were. Being a not-so-sunny day, all I could tell him was what town we were in and that there were fields on both sides of us. Skipping to the end: the kids eventually made it to school, the secretary answered my disheveled look with an understanding smile, and a week later Dano brought home a gift…my very own GPS! Life-changing indeed! (I had previously told him I didn’t need one…kind of like I had told him a couple years before that I didn’t need a minivan.) That little darling that sits atop my dash has kept me on the right path ever since.

So, what do you do when you’re lost and not in the car? Our trek back to Jeddah began with a stop in Washington, D.C. Dano had meetings in West Virginia so the kids and I were going to stay with my sister for a few days. So conveniently fun! On our way to drop Dano off in West Virginia, we had a little extra time so we decided to stop at Harper’s Ferry. Kennedy had been there with her leadership conference back in April and was anxious to have us visit. We followed the park ranger’s suggestion of going down to Lower Town. However, she failed to tell us there was a shuttle to Lower Town. We found the hiking trail pointing to Lower Town and with Abby on Dano’s back in the carrier, we set off on the park-labeled “vigorous” hike. The scenery was beautiful. The hike was steep with wonderful shale rock everywhere.We reached the bottom of the hill with no sight of Lower Town. We crossed the highway and picked up the faint trail. It led us to a serene river. Then the trail seemed to disappear. We forged our own trail, every now and then finding hints of what could be the actual trail. After about twenty minutes more of walking we decided we’d fare better if we followed the train tracks. Surely they would lead to the town. We walked on the railroad tracks listening intently for any oncoming trains. I could envision the whistle blowing and our family dodging off the tracks, rolling down the gravel toward the river. It seems so many of my images come from what I’d find in a movie!
We could see the highway up a hill of trees and brush to our left but there was no shoulder on which to walk and surely no one would pick up six hitchhikers! So on we blazed. At this point we’d been hiking for well over an hour with no end in sight. That terrible feeling of being lost began to set in. Finally after a family prayer and some divine intervention we decided to go ahead and leave the train tracks and head to the road. Where we had decided to pick up on the road happened to be shortly after a walkway beside the road had begun. We followed it, with many looks from drivers, for about another half a mile until we reached Lower Town.

Along the way we passed the remains of a pulp mill from the late 1800s and a wonderful old wooden truss bridge used for access to factories or to escape from floods.
Lower Town led to a point where Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland all meet at the convergence of the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers.
Unfortunately after two hours and two miles of hiking we were all too pooped and sore (and out of time) to tour much around Harper’s Ferry. Kennedy gave us the condensed historical significance and we headed toward the shuttle, the glorious shuttle!

Speaking of this time of being lost, at least we were lost together as a family, the scenery was beautiful, and we’d been taught what the best thing is to do when you’re lost. We know that Heavenly Father always knows the way out if we just ask. He’ll direct us.

All Good Things Must End

Summer came and went much too quickly for our little family. We arrived home on the evening of July 9th after a little more than 24 hours of travelling, four of which Abby slept. I was a little apprehensive taking a newly-potty-trained two year old on the long trip, but she didn’t cease to amaze. She was delightful for about the entire trip. The leg from Frankfurt to DC was long (after a six hour flight from Jeddah to Frankfurt and an additional three hours sitting on the tarmack waiting for repairs). Toward the last two hours she was done sitting in her carseat. I really couldn’t fight her on it, afterall, she had been such a good little passenger. I scanned the passengers and realized, “We don’t know anyone here. Chances are, we’ll never see any of them again. What the heck?” I unbuckled her and allowed her to stretch her little legs. She is mostly trustworthy and just visited Kennedy and Erin’s seats and then up to Dano and Ethan’s seats. Back and forth she went for the better part of an hour, not bothering anyone else, thank goodness.

Ohio had received quite a bit of rain the end of June/beginning of July so it was delightfully green – although, Phoenix might have looked green to us at this point. Upon arrival over Columbus each of us just kept repeating, “It’s so greeeeen!” We were so happy to see our home again. It looked so beautiful. Our good friends, the Porters, had taped up ‘welcome home’ signs in our kitchen eating area which we left up for about three weeks! We had picked up a Papa Murphy’s pizza on the way home and called it an early night…though what’s early after you’ve been up for 36 hours?

The pool was uncovered the next day. Again, it could be heard amongst us, “It’s so greeeen!” (We'll spare you any pictures of the swamp!) Fortunately there were no living creatures (visible anyway). Our pool man told us it was due to the very hot, humid weather Ohio had had in May and June. It took us an entire week of chemical treatments and vacuuming to get it swimable. However, when we did, there were not many days we didn’t get in it.
As part of Erin’s birthday, we sent her off to DC to stay with my sister and her husband for a few days. I was a little nervous about Erin travelling by herself, but the flight was not long and she appeared to be calm and brave about it. She’s the only one of our children to ever fly unaccompanied…so far.
It was a very special experience for her to enjoy some quality time with Aunt Jen and Uncle Chris. She brought Aunt Jen back to Ohio with her.

We enjoyed visits from family members nearly every week we were home. We had a great time hanging out with Aunt Jen and Uncle Chris when he arrived a few days later.
The exciting part is my sister is due to have her first baby just four weeks after ours. The downside is…we’re going to be half way around the world. I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with this, but such is life. We’ll get through.
During their visit, my mom arrived for a two week stay. She sufficiently spoiled the kids. The girls enjoyed pampering each other and Lindy with pedicures. We were sad that Papa could not make the trip this time and missed him.
A few days after Lindy left, Dano’s parents arrived. During all of this, Dano returned to Jeddah for two and a half weeks. He made it back to spend a few days with his parents before they left. They taught the kids some new card games. It’s becoming fun that we are now having real card games amongst our family, including Five Crowns, a family favorite.
A day after they left my brother arrived. We had a super week playing with him that went by too quickly. I have no idea how we let the time get by without one picture with Uncle David. Shame on me!

Amidst all the family visits we were able to spend time with friends, go peach picking (a favorite family event),

donate some more hair to Locks of Love,


attend a Cleveland Indians game and a Cincinnati Reds game (and make it on the jumbotron!),




devour some pulled pork and ribs, have a birthday party,

enjoy a long stint of not wearing an abbaya, relish in going where I want, when I want, and actually driving myself there, and get a hefty dose (okay, several doses!) of Graeters Ice Cream.

One final event of the summer - Dano participated with several friends from work in Columbus' Pelatonia bike ride which raises money for cancer research. Dano rode the 102 mile leg. We were all very proud of him. I'd post a picture of it, but it turned out to be a very rainy day and during our hour-long wait at the finish line, our camera became water-logged and drowned. (I guess that could explain also why we have no pics with Uncle David...) It was a great experience; one he's looking forward to participating in it again next year.

After a wonderful eight weeks I admittedly was not looking forward to leaving friends, family, Ohio, and America again. However, by the time we got closer to Jeddah, I was happily anticipating getting back and picking up our life in KSA which does feel like home. I considered that a blessing. I don’t think I can ever say it too frequently…we are so blessed with all that we have in the United States.

Celebrating Erin

Seven years ago our third-born threatened an attempt to make an early appearance. Then at four weeks she taught us great lessons in faith as we watched her suffer from spinal meningitis and other health issues. Today Erin shows no negative effects from her jumpy start to life. On the contrary, she is full of bounce and life. Here are some of the things she enjoys about life and that we enjoy about her:

When Erin laughs it is contagious. She is capable of having such a riotous giggle that you can’t help but join in. Her smile lights up a room.

Erin loves to be in the kitchen and I love having her help me. She is quick to volunteer for anything of the culinary nature which makes me wish I was a better cook who could offer her a broader set of experiences. Oh well, she’s happy to settle for enjoying making baked goodies and breads (especially if they’re “Sister Dunford rolls”!)

Erin is a determined little girl and can accomplish anything she sets her mind to. The dilemma….setting her mind to it. Being in the middle has its challenges especially when you’ve put yourself in the footsteps of an older brother and sister. Erin has been blessed with an abundance of ability. She uses this to quietly overcome challenges. She is a very bright girl who has, by nature of our situation, been thrust into an educational upheaval. Though there were several days of tears, she managed to smile and push through. It’s difficult as a parent to watch your child grow through adversity. There have been times I have just wanted to remove her from the frustrations and home-school her. She finished out the school year quite well with glowing praise from her teachers and headmaster and was awarded one of three awards handed out at her grade – person with the best influence. We’re anxious to see what second grade holds in store for this little one.

Erin is a delightfully talented artist who loves to write stories, create pictures, and engage in all forms of creativity. At a recent visit to a ceramics gallery, Erin showed her gentle, patient touch by creating a clay pot thrown on a wheel. She has been improving her knitting skills, having been taught by Kennedy and my mother, and is making a wonderfully beautiful washcloth for the baby. I am amazed at how even and tight her stitches are. She is truly naturally gifted.

Erin is a true friend. She values her friendships and relationships with her peers. She is quick to notice someone left out. She is also capable of recognizing false friends, a characteristic I just recently learned about her; a trait which will serve her well throughout her life. She has taken the age-old adage to heart: to have a friend you must be a friend.

Erin is a super sister. She loves to do quiet, kind deeds for her brother and sisters. As Abby is getting older she is seeing this wonderful friend in her sister, Erin and loves to play with her. Most recently it has been music to my ears to hear her little voice call out “Ewiiiiiinnn!” As a middle child, Erin has always shared a room with Kennedy or Ethan. I love hearing the nighttime giggling between her and either of these siblings. Whether she’s role playing or just girl-talking with Kennedy or building secret forts with Ethan, Erin is a fun girl to share a room with. While we were back in Ohio this summer I think there were more nights of them wanting to all sleep together than in their respective rooms. I asked Dano why we even have separate bedrooms for them. We just need to modify what we have to make one huge bedroom for all the kids!

Erin loves little children. It has been sweet to watch recently as Erin will approach a little child at church or a park or in any setting and get down on their level and talk to them. It really makes her seem older. She is so anxiously excited about this new baby, she can hardly stand it. I know it will be just as sweet to watch her interact with and care for her new sister.

Erin is a great athlete. Again, any sport Erin attempts, she succeeds. She has been blessed with terrific speed and coordination. She has been a beautiful dancer, a soccer star, and most recently is enjoying perfecting her jumproping skills and tricks. When her year played an interhouse basketball game, it was great to watch Erin be able to shoot baskets as well as be aware of her teammates and opportunities to pass to them. She is very agile in the water and loves to swim. Watching her, I don’t know where she gets that set of lungs!

Erin is a great blessing to our little family. She fills our lives with her wonderful piano playing and beautiful singing. I am anxious to watch the next seven years unfold and mold her into an even more terrific girl.

Celebrating Kennedy

Twelve years ago Dano and I graduated from Oklahoma State University. Six weeks later our little family began. Kennedy joined us precisely on her due date and the joy has never ended. Here are some of the things about Kennedy that bring us such joy:

Kennedy is a wonderful sister. We couldn’t have asked for a more loving, caring older sister. I can easily recall her gentleness with each of the children. She was so excited to have a little brother join the family and share a room with her. I remember this little three year old coming in one afternoon telling me she’d just changed her brother’s poopy diaper. She had actually done a really good job! Then, when she had a little sister, she was torn between going to kindergarten and just staying home with Erin. Finally, as Abigail joined our family she has taken on a more young mother-type role. She has loved sharing a room with her, and often a bed, and has completely won her heart. As we prepare to add another sibling, Kennedy has already done the math and it is paining her that she will leave for college when this baby is only six. I know for those six years, she will continue to be a terrific sister and will be able to create a lasting relationship

Kennedy has a passion for learning. If there was a perfect gift for Kennedy it would be a new book. Kennedy is always in the middle of a good book, sometimes two or three (although Mom has tried to get her not to do this…but what do I know? I’m not a super reader myself). She was reciting books when she was not quite three years old. Her dedication to learning is reflected in her academic achievements. Not only are we as parents proud of her accomplishments but happy that they are so self-motivated.

Kennedy is determined. When Kennedy sets her mind to doing something, it gets done…very well. She has always been very good at setting goals and pushing herself to meet her self-imposed deadlines. One thing, unfortunately, that she inherited from her mother is her ability to produce under pressure. The unfortunate part of that is her lack of concern for procrastination. However, this proves beneficial when faced with spontaneity. Coupled with her determination, Kennedy is not easily rattled.

Kennedy loves to dance and sing and play the piano. She has always kept us well entertained. We recently have enjoyed a beautiful piano rendition of “Moon River.”
Kennedy is tender-hearted and kind and compassionate. She is a true friend. She is a girl who will stand up for what she believes, no matter what. She is one who easily laughs and whose laugh is contagious. This spirit of joy can lighten many moments.

We have been asked over the years what our secrets to parenting are to produce a child like Kennedy. We have no secrets. What you see is how Kennedy came. We’ve just been the portal to everything naturally wonderful about Kennedy.

Lister Fish are in the Pool!

One of the benefits of school curriculum here is the weekly swimming classes. For kids who already love to swim it is just a bonus. At the end of every school year the key stages have swim galas. Erin had hers first. We met in the swim hall with a crowd of other parents. I dubbed it the ‘swim sauna’ as it felt like such. I asked one of the PE teachers if we were having adult swim after the kids! Erin swam the 25 meter freestyle and another 25 meter event terrifically well and earned points for her house which won the swim gala.Ethan’s swim gala was a few days later. He competed in the 25 meter breaststroke, 25 meter freestyle, and 100 meter relay. He did very well and his house won their key stage (years 4-6/grades 3-5) as well.
Kennedy’s swim gala was this week. Hers was only for girls in years 7-9 (grades 6-8). As Erin and Ethan’s swim galas were crowded, Kennedy’s was quite the opposite. I was one of four mothers in attendance. Unfortunately Dano was gone for Erin and Ethan’s swim galas. He was here for Kennedy’s, but fathers are uninvited. I’m guessing because of the region of the world in which we live and the social environment and concerns, men are not permitted in the vicinity when the older girls are swimming. Male PE teachers are not even allowed at the pool. The ironic thing is that Kennedy’s year had a beach trip the other day and the boys and girls were permitted to swim in the same beach area. I guess I don’t really understand yet. Kennedy swam the 25 meter breaststroke and the 100 meter medley relay. Her team took first in the relay but her house walked away overall with second place. I’m learning how stiff the house competition is. The kids are anxiously awaiting to hear which house will win the house cup this year. It will be announced next week at the Celebration of Achievement. Not to be left out, Abby also loves to swim and enjoyed watching the kids swim. Our new compound offers a semi-covered child’s pool. Abby and I go nearly every morning around 8:30. Any later and the sun is too intense and it’s just too hot already, even in the shade. She loves kicking around on Dad’s kickboard, blowing bubbles, and just being in the water. She was so pleased to score her very own goggles at last week’s quick trip to the mall. Here she has used her blanket as a "towel" and wrapped herself up. Oh, to be a big kid.
Still in triathlon mode, Dano is diligent about swimming several times a week at 5:00 a.m. He took the kids out on Thursday morning around 7:00 (no one else on the compound is awake at that hour!) and had the pools all to themselves. Ethan and Kennedy managed to kick out 800 and 1200 meters respectively. All this swimming has been another perk of living here in the kingdom. If it didn't get so hot, I may never get them out of the water!

I'm Melllllttttting!

Well, summer has arrived…officially by date of June 21, but it really arrived back in April. Now it has come on with a vengeance. Our highs for yesterday and today hovered around the 125 F mark. The heat was accompanied by hot winds from the southeast which brought with them a sandstorm. The air was just filled with sand. Who needs to pay for dermabrasion when you live in Jeddah?! As we were out running a couple of errands (only out of necessity) it felt as if we were walking into an oven. I have never felt this kind of heat before…except when opening an oven door. We were in Phoenix a couple of summers ago when they topped out at 117. This feels so much hotter. To think, last year when we were planning our move here, I told Dano we could survive the summer; not to worry about coming home to Ohio. As long as we have a swimming pool we could withstand any heat…except when the swimming pool feels like a really warm bath. So wrong was I!!

As we were walking around today I thought it very unfair and somewhat uncaring that men can wear whatever they want and if they’re the religious type, their robes are loose, white robes. Whereas, if you’re a woman, you have to cover from head to toe in heat-absorbing black abbayas. No wonder I’ve heard rumors that many women only wear their unmentionables under their abbayas!

It has made me even more grateful for air conditioning and very compassionate for those who don’t have it here. I’m not sure what good it does to drive with your windows down to let air in when it is this hot. The windows of our car, upon touching, are nearly burning; too uncomfortable for a child to touch. Again, to think I balked at Dano when he told me our car came equipped with seat coolers! They should start equipping them with misters!

The heat and sand caused technological failures all over Jeddah including the kids’ school which lost most of its power for the last two and a half hours of school. They assembled the children and rotated them between the sports hall and library which did still have a/c. Next time, hopefully, they’ll just allow them to call Dano and go home. I can’t imagine being at a school with many kids in 125 temps and hot gusts of wind and no air conditioning. They already have done away with outdoor recesses because of the heat. Perhaps it’s simply time to adjourn school!

As we were driving home, again feeling anguish for the individuals who work outside cleaning, working construction, or selling things, I told Dano I think they have physically adjusted to living under the sun for centuries and centuries. I also think that we Americans were not bred to withstand such heat. I think the local people have different circulatory systems that help them tolerate this heat a little better while us white folk are melting!

Bad Combination

1 Husband out of country for eleven days
+ 1 moving of compounds
+ 1 pregnant mom feeling quite big and cumbersome
+ 1 potty-training two-year old
+ 1 daughter with college-like finals schedule
+ 1 vomiting daughter
+ 2 swim galas
+ 1 mom who can’t drive herself anywhere
_____________________________________
1 crazy household (well, crazier than usual)

With Dano in England and the states, we managed to move compounds. It has been a long, busy two weeks but the end result has definitely been worth it. We are very happy with our new location as it offers more social opportunities, fewer sewer trucks, a little less living space but a homier feel, and more security.

Kennedy survived her finals and did quite well. I am amazed at how rigorous the tests are here. It reminded me of college days…even the BYU testing center. Kennedy had at least one test in a large hall with many students. Apparently during the administration of one exam someone’s cell phone beeped or rang and the entire test was thrown out. She’s been very pleased (and relieved) to report to us that she’s scored the highest in her classes on several finals including the highest in all of year seven in History…which we found to be a little ironic that an American would score the highest on a British history exam!

With Dano not here to drive, I had to rely more on our driver to get me to and from the compounds to make arrangements and move things. It was a little bit frustrating. I learned that many men generally don’t have a lot of respect for women, even when they are the employees. Our driver respects Dano more than he respects me. He would never be late or not pick Dano up when he is supposed to. There is also no reason that I cannot communicate for myself. Even as I was speaking to the guards at the gate of our new compound, he was trying to speak over me and eventually rolled up my window as I was finishing speaking! It’s really a learning experience living in a country where women are not valued with the same importance as men. I’m so grateful to be an American and have the freedoms we do; where all men [and women] are created equal.

At the end of these long couple of weeks where so many things combined to form a potential Bermuda Triangle effect, we're happy that Dano's back, we're moved in, and feeling empowered for the next time we encounter such a combination.